时间…
时间是几时停下来的呢？
我是几时停下来的呢？
想一想，听一听别人怎么说……
终于知道答案了……
隐藏在从前，不想走出来的，是那潜意识的我。
成长过程的许多事情，我都记不起来；是潜意识选择性地抛掉那些我自己意识不到的不好的事情？
是它想保留着在能够感受到快乐和幸福的那些年日？是它使到我身体的成长那么慢？是它使到我思想的成熟也慢下来？
三年前，我回到家乡的时候，其实就已经把双脚踏回原地。
我的双脚，踏在那个影子里……
我仔细地分析我的人生，到目前只有两件事是完完全全与这影子没有任何牵连。
一是我车祸后，自己到医院检查任何的后遗症；二是我到泰国宣教的时候。
至少，我可以数算有两件事，已经是好过没有了……
我生命就将迎向三十……
这影子的范围，实在是太大。
或许，因着一些只有上帝才知道的原因，我目前不可能完全踏出这影子，环境也只有限量能改变的地方，
但，我可以一只脚踏出这影子，有机会的时候，还是可以双脚跳离地面。
虽然跳离地面脚还是得踏下来，但我不能再让自己停下脚步了。
我不能再让它的时间停下来。
我要伸出双手告诉它：“来，一起走吧！是时候让时间重新走动了！来帮我把一只脚好好地留在影子外面，来帮我在时机来临的时候，双脚跳离地面！”
走吧！
A Little Woman, but A Great One…
.
She was a little woman.
Little in size, because of her past.
She had worked hard, very very hard…..
That’s why she got herself hunchback……
She looked like a little woman, but she didn’t become a little woman.
She became a great mother to nine children.
And became a great grandmother to her every grandchild who was born in five different decades.
She was really blessed too, to become a great grandmother (literally) to her grandchildren’s children.
She became a great ‘great grandmother’.
And my wife and I were blessed, to have her presence during our wedding in PJ. She didn’t need to go, as she would have to endure a total of five hours of travel including a near-three hours flight. But she did, and because of that, she made a difference to our wedding day.
Later, she had some serious health issues because of her old age, and was admitted to the hospital. I believe it was God’s grace and mercy, that she recovered from that incident. I believe so, because she did come to know about Jesus, because during some years ago she followed my mum to the Hakka senior service at our local church.
She reached her 80th birthday April last year, and I believe she was blessed to be able to greet another great grandchild of hers into this world the following month in May. Joleen was most certainly blessed too, to be able to meet her great grandparent in person.
Another year on, grandma attended Joleen’s first birthday party.
It would have been really interesting, to see Joleen talking to her great grandma in Hakka in the future. That’s what I had been imagining that time.
My mother’s mother, my grandma, suddenly fell onto the floor three days after Joleen’s party. She became unconscious and past away midnight the next day……
.
She was a little woman in size, but a great one in life……
.
Allow me to show you how great my grandma is to me:
I spoke in Hakka to her, but she always replied in Mandarin to me.
The reason being, I am very bad in Hakka. She knew my Hakka was very limited and mostly I wouldn’t be able to answer her proficiently. She was very thoughtful. But if you were to view it from a third party’s angle, it might seem like a funny situation as if she was mocking my bad Hakka.
She was the main reason I tried to improve my Hakka dialect…
I hope Joleen and I will be able to meet her in heaven eventually, and maybe we could converse in full Hakka then…
.
Grandma at our Wedding Ceremony in PJ, 21 March 2009
.
Tea Ceremony with Grandma in Tawau, 28 March 2009
.
Grandma at Joleen’s Full Moon, 21 June 2010
.
Grandma at Joleen’s First Birthday Party, 23 May 2011
.
鏡に映る
Song Title: 鏡に映る
Duration: 3.40
Date: September 23, 2009
This song was composed/recorded back then in 2009, but remained in dormant until recently when I was clearing up files on my computer.
It is different in a few ways than my normal piano compositions, and is just the second song given a Japanese title.
